Why Focusing on Who You Become Matters More Than What You Achieve
Goals drive us forward.
They fuel our ambition and give us direction.
Yet, more often than not, they leave us feeling dissatisfied.
What could be the reason?
We set goals as if we’re someone else. As if the version of us today doesn’t matter, and the future version is all that counts. In reality we are always forecasting the future. Future casting is powerful ally when used in the right way.
But that gap between who we are now and who we need to become? That’s where the unhappiness lives.
Goals, as we set them, aren’t about growth. They’re about outcomes.
We see the finish line and assume reaching it will fix everything.
But we forget that the person setting the goal isn’t the same one who will achieve it.
Think of it like this: we imagine ourselves as more disciplined, more successful, more everything.
And when we struggle to close the gap between who we are and who we should be, frustration creeps in. Instead of feeling empowered, we are inadequate.
On the path the trauma of reaching the destination becomes so intense you forget who you were and to become.
The goal becomes a measuring stick. One that’s always out of reach.
We tend to believe that once we achieve a goal, everything will fall into place.
“When I make $1 million, I’ll be happy.”
“When my startup scales, I’ll finally feel successful.”
But in reality, every time we reach a goal, a new one pops up.
Happiness remains elusive, always waiting in the future, never in the present.
This is the trap: we confuse reaching goals with fulfillment. But fulfillment isn’t a destination. It’s not something you can tick off a list.
So, what’s the alternative? What should you do?
Should you abandon all goals?
It’s not about abandoning goals but shifting how to think about them.
Instead of asking, What do I want to achieve?, ask, Who do I want to become?
- Don’t set a goal to build a successful company. Aim to become the kind of leader who builds great teams and makes decisions with purpose.
- Don’t aim to lose weight. Focus on becoming someone who values their health every day.
When you focus on the kind of person you need to become, the goal becomes part of the journey, not the endgame.
You’re no longer chasing an external achievement but evolving. And that’s where real growth happens.
The solution isn’t to avoid goals. It’s to make them more meaningful. Goals should reflect the person you want to be, not the results you want to see.
Because in the end, the destination won’t fulfill you, the process will.
The growth, the learning, the evolution, that’s where the real reward is.
So ask yourself: Who do I want to become, and how will this journey shape me?
Fulfillment isn’t found at the finish line.
It’s in every step you take along the way.