How Listening More Transforms Conversations
I recently discovered something powerful. By speaking less, I’ve made my conversations sharper, more meaningful, and far more impactful.
Here’s how I did it and the lessons I’ve learned along the way:
About 60 days ago, I made a rule for myself: speak only 20% of the time, and spend the other 80% listening.
This shift required discipline, but I noticed how it allowed me to focus on the substance of what others were saying. I stopped waiting for my turn to speak.
What's the lesson here? Setting an intention around communication can change how people perceive you. I adds to the depth of your conversations.
In conversations with my team, I reduced my speaking time to under 20%. What surprised me was that the quality of the discussions improved.
I started asking better questions, listening more, and providing more thoughtful feedback.
When you focus on quality over quantity, you give more weight to your words, making them more impactful.
One of the hardest challenges was resisting the urge to talk—especially in moments of silence.
I often found myself slipping into making unnecessary jokes or telling irrelevant personal stories. Over time, I realized that silence isn’t something to afraid of. It’s a powerful tool that allows for reflection and deeper thinking.
Instead of filling the air with words, I started using more non-verbal communication—especially smiles. This small shift created an air of intrigue and warmth that made others feel more connected. Even without constant verbal exchange.
Non-verbal cues can sometimes speak louder than words. And they help create an environment where people feel heard and understood.
As I talked less, I began to notice a shift in energy—both mine and those around me. The more I listened, the more others felt encouraged to open up.
This created a space for deeper, more authentic conversations. The lesson? True listening creates trust and fosters richer relationships.
Speaking less and listening more is not about silence; it’s about creating space for others and yourself to engage more. Try it—set a limit on your speaking time and see how it transforms your interactions.
You’ll likely find, as I did, that listening more not only improves the quality of conversations but also elevates your presence in the room.