Choosing Your Pain: The Key to Meaningful Struggles

What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?

It’s an unconventional set of questions, one that many might hesitate to ask themselves. Most of us focus on the principle that life should be comfortable and easy.

We want to stay as far away as possible from pain and struggle because dreams are so beautiful that we often avoid confronting reality.

Mark Manson delves into this concept in his thought-provoking article, “The Most Important Question of Your Life.” If you haven’t read it yet, it’s a must-read.

In summary, Manson suggests that while people focus on what they want in life, the more critical question is what pain they are willing to endure to achieve those desires. The quality of life is proportional to the negative experiences we overcome, not the positive ones we seek. The struggles we choose to endure shape our identity and determine our success.

At a time when resilience is paramount, we often seek shortcuts and jump to conclusions. After all, we all want to keep fantasizing about an easy path to success.

Manson’s insights resonated with me, especially as challenges accumulate around me. A couple of hours ago, I sent a lengthy email to my co-founder, articulating why we need to realign our partnership, set expectations, and clarify our willingness to endure hardships in the coming years.

This email had been brewing in my mind for months. When hard conversations go unaddressed, our capacity to endure struggles diminishes.

I realized that I had spent too much time seeking magic pills and quick fixes. It’s time to stop searching for easy solutions and face the truth: I need to define my own path.

With that clarity, I ask myself: What am I willing to suffer for? What pains do I want in my life?

I acknowledge the inherent risks and the potential for things not working out as planned. I am willing to delay personal gratification in favor of aggressive growth and long-term goals rather than seeking immediate profit.

I am prepared to endure long hours and intense work periods to achieve my objectives. I aspire to embody a “lion-like” work ethic, ensuring that I don’t burn out halfway through the journey.

This commitment also means focusing on my strengths and avoiding tasks that don’t align with my best skills. I am driven by an insatiable hunger for continuous evolution, always pushing myself to excel. While this might translate into scaling revenue, profit, or users, it often revolves around refining my mindset.

This focus on growth is essential to ground myself in the reality of my situation. I’m playing the long game, with a 10-50 year time horizon in mind. It’s not about compounding success; it’s about building something I am so passionate about that I never want to stop.

This journey might need bold shifts that could unsettle those around me, but such changes are necessary for me to stay true to my vision.

The key to a fulfilling life lies in understanding the pains we are willing to embrace.